I have sex every 2-6 weeks, it depends on my schedule. I only have sex with one man during these times and I’m very selective when it comes to me finding a new companion, but lately I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t know why. Like yes, I don’t want to be portrayed as a whore, because women my age who are single and have multiple partners usually get branded with that name.
Am I emotionally stable enough to be with a new man? Am I physically ready to be with a new man? Do I want to have a threesome? I’ve had offers I can’t lie, But I’m terrified to be honest. I also am wondering if it’s time I start experimenting with females, not entirely sure about it but I’m keeping it as an option.
If we’re being honest I am so sexually satisfied with the companion I have right now that I don’t feel the need to be with someone else, I feel romanced and wanted by him. The way his fingers feel under the tips of my own, and the way I’m man handled in the bedroom is just so erotic. I get massages, kisses, spankings etc. and in the end I’m always cuddled. It’s probably top 3 in all of my sexcapades. But at the end of the day am I emotionally fulfilled?
I feel like there should be more to my life than sex, shouldn’t I want to be with someone more then just physically? I do like my companion trust me I do, if given the option I might even consider doing the relationship thing. But this is what I mean, shouldn’t a relationship be something that I want? Not something that I feel like I should have? I’m old enough for a relationship, I mean I have an almost three year old child.. Shouldn’t I be looking for someone I might want to marry soon? Start a family with? Have as a father figure in the seeds life?
Are my lack of needs really selfish wants when it comes to the seed? I don’t want to be forced to share her, I don’t know how well I’d do if I had to. Plus, the seed get’s so attached to EVERYONE I feel like her heartbreak would be worse than my own. Is that what I’m truly afraid of? Or am I just making up excuses for my own heart? I’ve seen so many girls, boys, men, and women who have been TORN apart by a mere breakup. I’m only as strong as my exterior allows me to be, I bruise so easily that I think the smallest of heartbreaks would ruin the experience for me.
Is it just me? Am I overthinking as usual?